A Hound in Lockdown

It has been over 100 days and they are here every day. I get no peace. I have no idea why, they just will not get out of my house. It seemed to happen overnight, as though everything they did just stopped and they have been home ever since, well three of them have. Fortunately, for me he was only around constantly for a few weeks and then went back to his normal routine. Thankfully, otherwise I would have been skin and bone, at the rate he eats all the leftovers. The children and her are still here. I love having her around, I could just take or leave the children. They are nice enough. They just require a lot of her time and I would much rather she had more time to do other things, things for herself, things she enjoys, like sitting and stroking me. 

Instead, she spends a lot of time sat around the table in the kitchen with them. I am not a hundred percent certain what she is doing with them. The table is usually a complete mess, covered in books and pens. I can only assume she must be teaching them something. I am not quite sure what she is teaching them, but it makes for good entertainment to watch. It usually starts off in a calm manner, where they are all sat down looking in their books or on their tablets and then ends up in her standing up, shouting a lot, shaking her head, waving her hands, putting her head in her hands and walking over to the kettle, usually in that order.

I can only hope she is better at teaching them, than she was at teaching me. It took her 8 months to house train me. She made so many mistakes. I just did not know what she wanted me to do. Her biggest mistake was to give me a dog treat every time I did my business outside. I love my treats, so I thought that if I did my business inside, she would also give me a treat. On several occasions I would wait until she was stood at the side of me and then I would force one out. Even if I did not need to go, I would make sure there was either a dribble of wee or a pebble of poop by her feet. I desperately wanted a treat! However, it did not work. I would even bark at her so she would notice, but she was never impressed and instead the incident resulted in her giving me her look of disappointment and taking me to the back door to be sent outside. Eventually, I did realise I was only meant to do it outside but how was I meant to understand what she wanted with her misleading instructions. It was pathetic teaching and now she is teaching those two children. I pity them. I really do.

When they are not sat at the table the children are usually making a mess somewhere else in the house. Within seconds the calmness of any room can be completely obliterated with a tornado of toys. They really can make a mess. Personally, I can handle the toys everywhere. I just walk on them to get to the sofa and from there I can drift into my own dreamworld; one of the past where she had more time for me.

She cannot handle the toys everywhere and when she walks in, I often get woken up by her shouting at them and waving her hands about. Sometimes I just look at her while she waves her arms about and think if only there was no volume, she would look like a chicken trying to take off. I do love a juicy, tender piece of roast chicken.

On the odd occasion, I have to admit having them around is fun. Like when they played vets and I was the patient. I got to lay there for hours while they bandaged my ear and tail with toilet roll. 

Or the other week when I taught them both how to bark at people and cars passing by. Their bark was incredibly poor, but a little practice and I think they will soon have it. The main thing is, they did it straight away and understood from the beginning of the lesson, what I wanted them to do. No books or tablets or sitting around a kitchen table needed, they just got it straight away. I am not saying anything about her teaching methods but mine are far superior.

Perhaps it is nice to have them around more. Yeah, nope! I would much rather have her to myself.

I need her to look after me. Pay me all the attention. I need her to brush my fur every other day. I need my fortnightly bath, with the bubbles and blow dry. I need my hours of cuddles. When will I get normality back?